Majdanek

After Hans recovers from his injuries he’s posted to Majdanek Extermination Camp in Lublin, Poland, in October 1943
Hans knows this posting is a dead end without purpose or fulfilment, and the Eastern Front with all its dangers had its moments and differences, which kept him alert and gave him a buzz. The danger and the possibility of death kept him more alive than he had ever been before, and he was often intoxicated with the mixture of fear and excitement, which kept him right on the edge, like he was sitting on a razor blade.
It was a 24 hour game of Russian roulette, using two revolvers seven days a week, that would put him on the borderline of insanity, where he reached peaks of madness, and nothing in the world mattered, as he knew every second could easily be his last. He became so addicted to danger that he’d almost get high, when a round whistled past within millimetres of the Tiger, and then he’d open his eyes like he was being born again. The cycle of living and dying was turning him on, and he was quickly becoming a junkie, where survival and instant extinction was giving him kicks that he’d never experienced before.

(L.Hellmann, When the lights went out, 2006)